2019 Kicked My Ass

Am I late to the 2020 new year new me party? Needless to say, my professional life was somewhat (okay majorly) derailed mid 2019. I feel like I’ve been aggressively treading in deep water to stay afloat ever since. I had a major family emergency, experienced the extreme symptoms of persistent post concussion syndrome combined with extreme psychological stress, I went through 6 months of neurological rehabilitation, and then I moved to a new state. So instead of just jumping right back into talking about food and all of the things that you should do to take care of your mental health - as if nothing happened to me behind the scenes - I’m going to take a moment to pay homage to the fact that WE ALL STRUGGLE, and there is never going to be a perfect existence.

Stress, trauma, heartache, and challenge are a part of what make us human. We wouldn’t be able to experience joy and pure happiness without experiencing the other side of life. And if we don’t stop and take a moment to sit with this other side of life, to feel it in its entirety and to let the feelings and emotions integrate into our being, we end up suppressing these charged frequencies that eventually start to weigh us down.

Since I was a little girl, my go to way of coping was to suppress. I experienced severe psychological trauma in early childhood (as well as multiple subsequent concussions) and buried it down so deeply that I had completely forgotten about it - until it all came tearing through me last year. While I’m not quite in a place to want to publicly talk about it, I can share this: Sometimes our pain and our suffering isn’t something we should be running away from. Its a message coming from deep inside of us, and we must listen to this message. We must feel these feelings. Even if it means seeking out more solitude for some time. Even if it means taking a step back from working. Sometimes there isn’t an answer that can be intellectualized in the form of science and numbers and data.

While I’ve felt this deep sense of failure and shame for walking away from my work, for taking a break, for not progressing my career - I have learned to let these feelings go and recognize that in the grand scheme of life, none of that matters. My connection with myself is my number one priority. And I definitely don’t need the added pressure that I put on myself. So now instead of being out late on a Friday night at a bar, I’m at home drinking Tulsi tea, reading about philosophy, and doing a really powerful meditation. My life has completely changed, but it needed to. Resistance to change causes friction. Friction causes anxiety.

In the spirit of showing up authentically and practicing what I preach, I am going to start "working" again, both one on one (limited slots) as well as in online group program settings, but in a much healthier manner. This time, however, I am doing it because I genuinely want to be of service to others and not because I feel the need to have my ego validated. I am doing so in a much more moderate manner, taking it one small step at a time and continuing to give myself time and space to take care of my own needs. I am now located in South Lake Tahoe and will continue working with clients over web conference in Salt Lake City, as well as new clients in person in South Lake Tahoe. One of my main focuses is going to be finishing and re-launching The Anxiety Action Plan group healing platform.

If you have any questions, I’d love to hear from you!

xoxo,

Chelsie